Our journey finding serenity dealing with my daughter's mental illness and substance abuse.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Leaving the 24 hour chip behind
After a long chat with Alex about her illness on Wednesday, she still left home on Thursday. My level of anxiety increased a big deal, I even thought she might have taken off to another city where her friends were meeting to party. After she was gone I went into her room like I always do... in the top of my father's "Big Book" was her 24 hour recovery chip. I put it in my pocket and walked out of the room; now it's in my purse next to the little wooden cross that my dad gave me. I keep praying for her but I can still feel the pain in my jaws because of the stress and tension in my body. I tried to called her but no answer, I was going to trace her cell phone that same night to see if she had lied to me but then I thought that there was no point on doing that and I went to bed, I prayed to God to give me the strength to let go and put her on His hands. This is her second 24 hour chip, she gave away the first one that she received to a friend who was going thru a hard time, she relapsed when she turned 21 last November after that. On Friday Banana recommended to go out and eat Indian food and we had a great time, never imagined that it will be that delicious. I had a chance to ride with Banana on Saturday, we did the St Patrick's parade ride and it was a ton of fun, except for being stung by a bee in my left eye while we were riding back, it was painful but I was man enough to finish the ride :) Today I had another opportunity to ride, a little bit of rain but somehow I managed to keep up and complete the ride now I'm very sore... I found new muscles since JT (the guy from the bike shop) has been working with my bike. I hope I'm going to get stronger now with this changes, the same way that I'm getting stronger with the NAMI and Al-Alanon groups.
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