Yesterday ride was great but 20 miles short of what I've planned for. I was looking forward to ride with the fast guys even thou I knew I was going to be beat to a pulp... but didn't happened. A few of the riders that were going to try as well decided not to at the last minute and of course I didn't want to be the weakest link (again) so I rode another ride/route instead but I told myself that I needed to get better so can ride with them the next time... I can do this because I love challenges and as Alex used to called me I am the dragon lady :)
Alex was in high school when she used to call me the "Dragon Lady"...she did because when I was practicing martial arts (I was one step from being a black belt so I was pretty serious about it) I got myself a tattoo of a dragon in my ankle. One of the topics of and essay that she wrote to get into college was titled "My Warrior, My Mother, My Hero" and started with this paragraph:
There are times in which I love her, and times in which I hate her. Some days I call her “Dragon lady”, and other’s I call her “Mom”. My mother is loving, caring, tough, and strong. She stands up for what is right, and refuses to be silenced. My mother is a warrior, and I am her student.
I remember tears coming down my face and how proud I felt back in that moment. Of course she got into college and that was great, but I was more proud of the fact that I was sure that she was becoming the person of integrity and character that I wanted for both my daughters and I still do because I refuse to give up that dream. These last days I've seen Alex posting odd status on facebook and also she's been sleeping when I call her during the day. Last night she wrote something about piercing herself and I felt that tug in my heart again. As per the training that I'm taking, I'm putting together a "crisis folder" with all the information that we might need at any time if God forbid there is a crisis. This is the smart think to do for now. I'm not giving up on her or my riding because once a dragon lady, always a dragon lady.
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