Alex is still working, going to College and seeing her therapist often. I hope she starts to see a doctor for her brain disorder soon, I have asked her too many times now and I now how fragile these things can be.
I still miss my dad... lots and lots. I try to find him on the beauty around me, in the strength inside me. I struggle fighting my demons of guilt and regret, so many things I wanted to say and do with him and for him.
Alex has to create a portfolio as a school project, it seems to me she is pretty close to get her degree and that is amazing considering everything what she has gone thru and her disorder. She asked me if I could find and send her all her awards, test, published poems and essays that I have. That was a little hard trip to the past, it was like seeing how she or we used to be and the way that things were back then. She graduated number 6 from High School where she skipped one year and was already advanced with some college classes, she got a full scholarship to go to college and I used to think I had it made... ah little I knew :)
Below is the essay she wrote to get into college, I clearly remember how humbling this was to me and the happy tears in my face. I was proud of her back then and I am so proud of her now. The picture I have in today's post is what I see while others just see a troubled young lady.
Topic A: My Warrior,
My Mother, My Hero
There are
times in which I love her, and times in which I hate her. Some days I call her
“Dragon lady”, and others I call her “Mom”. My mother is loving, caring,
tough, and strong. She stands up for what is right, and refuses to be silenced.
My mother is a warrior, and I am her student.
When my
parents divorced, my mom was left with nothing but the children and the dogs.
Although she was distraught, and disheartened, she always put on a smile for my
sister and me, and assured us that we were just going through a storm and that
everything would be alright.
Between balancing bills, and living
her everyday life, my mother began to work overtime; consequently, rumor began
to circulate about her not being able to care for my sister and me. In spite of
people expecting her to go insane, my mom continued to push forward.
My mother is a warrior. She has
taught me to stand on my own, and to work hard. It has not always been the
easiest of lessons, but she has also taught me perseverance.
My mom is
also compassionate. Even after my dad filed for the divorce, she kept his well
being in mind. She sent my dad a box
filled with home appliances, clothes, blankets, and food, and did not even
receive a “thank you” in return. Yet my mom’s spirit remained intact. My mommy
has taught me the art of forgiveness. She has taught me not to hold grudges
against anyone, and that people are only human, and deserve to be given second
chances.
My mother
is my hero. She is what pieced this family back together, and what keeps it
together. My mom’s strength has encouraged me to always keep moving forward,
and when I feel like I cannot anymore, to push a little more. My mom has
inspired me to be the first in my family to graduate from college in the United States of America,
and not to yield to people’s expectations, but to exceed them.
Alex
12/05/2007
