Scary thoughts

I can't seem to be able to get out of this state of fear. It's either my mother and her heart condition, my job, Alex acting up again or Jeff's health. Mother hasn't been the same since my dad passed away, she was told that her heart is too big for her chest and it seems she is trying to accomplish more thanks she can in the shortest amount of time, she left to Cancun last week and basically she can't really do too much because she gets too tired. We all know is just a matter of time before she gets more sick but something that I know about my mom is that she is and always will be a warrior, as Alex said it once "not even silver bullets will take that woman down". Jeff hasn't been healthy in a while and she spends too much time either working or watching TV. I know he's been to several doctor appointments but he won't share too much of that with me, he thinks that I worry too much. Alex and her illness will never going to end. She is having financial problems now and she expects us to bail her out... again. It seems that I can't find the strength and the patience to deal with this all over again. I took time to read a few blogs that I follow to help me put things into perspective but it seems that this time, perspective came from one of my close friends. He is facing a battle that he had won over back in 2006 and now he needs to pull himself together all over again, dig deep down and beat it one more time. This made me think about how precious, unexpected and short life is. My life has been anything but easy and I refuse to be angry at the world, I choose to look for the good of things and be happy even though those scary thoughts haunt me and still linger around in my mind. I wish for my dear friend to stay strong, I want for my daughter to be happy and I pray for my mom's and Jeff's health. I wish I can ride my bike for many many more years. Cheers and see you on the road.